The Heart is a Prison by Thomas Staab Caleb Temple sat on the bank of the Trinity River and glowered out at the water. Since waking up in Lucas' foyer, there'd been something dark and cold clawing at him. Something that whispered to him while he slept. Something that sounded like Lucas Buck. His Father. Caleb dug up a rock in the muddy soil beside him and pitched it as far as he could. The rock made a PLUNK! and a splash. "The Hell with him." Caleb spat bitterly to himself. "To Hell with all of 'em.'' Gage Temple, the man who'd raised Caleb, swirled to the surface of the boy's mind, magnifying his rage. His young mind flashed back to the night Merlyn died, when Gage's drunken mind and short temper went South and he caved his daughter's head in with a shovel. Caleb's throat trembled with a growl. From someplace deep inside, he remembered feeling like this before, but the memory was like a dream. The more he pursued it, the more elusive it became. He could recall snippets of it; Lucas dying...Gail falling...then nothing. Only rage. The rage he felt now. The events of the past year were catching up with him. In the backround, beyond the rasping voices and violent images, was his sister's voice struggling to sooth him. To steer him to the path of Light. "I don't care no mo' Merly." He said out loud, not recognizing his own voice. "I don't care bout you or Lucas or anything.'' Caleb felt the Darkness in him blossom, it was so cold it numbed him. Numbed the pain. "Why should I? Who ever looked out for me?'' A dead Mother. A drunken, worthless bastard of a Father. And another Father who was the Devil himself. And a dead sister. The rage spilled over his soul like oil over ivory cloth. "Let it come. Ain't nothin' left worth fightin' for.'' A gentle gust of rose-scented wind caressed Caleb's skin. Krish-kish. Caleb jumped and turned toward the noise. He was ready to grab another stone and fling it. "Who's there?!'' "Don't throw anything please." A little girl, a few years younger than Caleb, emerged from the brush. Her short, dirty blond hair waved in the breeze and her blue denim dress was surprisingly clean for her wild surroundings. Her arms were raised in surrender. She looked more amused then scared. "Who're you?" Caleb asked roughly, tossing the rock back to the ground. He hoped his surliness would send the girl packing, instead she found a dry patch beside him and took a seat. "I'm Claire.'' Caleb eyed her suspiciously. The wind blew against the girl, wafting the smell of roses toward him. The untarnished part of him wanted to reach out to the girl hoping they could be friends. The darker part...the part that had recently been gaining dominance, wanted to chase the girl away. Why make another friend?, he thought angrily. She'll just die like the rest of them. "I'm bad luck, that's what I am, so you better run. People get hurt around me.'' Caleb tossed another rock into the water. "Really? Anyone close?'' "Yeah." He hissed. "Everyone. My Mother died jus after I's born. My Deddy killed himself after he bashed my sister's brains in.'' Claire was quiet for a moment. "You sound angry.' She said innocently. "Damn straight!' He slammed another rock into the river. "I tried bein' a good boy! Ma whole life I tried ta be strong! I took care of ma' sister and Deddy and what'd I get out of it?! "Now they're dead and I don't care. I'm glad they're gone.'' Caleb stared straight out at the opposite bank of the river. He blinked when he thought he saw Lucas' blue Caprice drive by. "If that's true, why are you so angry?'' Caleb rounded on the girl, looking her up and down. "Why d'you care?'' Claire shrugged, "I know what it's like to lose someone you love. I know how angry you can feel. I lost my Daddy.'' The old Caleb surfaced briefly at the misery in the girl's voice. There was something in her words that reflected his own sorrow. "You did?" Caleb asked softly. Claire nodded slowly, staring at her knees. "Ah'm sorry.'' "It's okay." She said smiling. "It only hurts if you keep it down, bury it inside. That's when it festers." "When it what?'' "It rots in your soul...'' "Oh." Caleb nodded. The rage tried to drag him back down, but he found it easier to resist. "When you keep your grief inside, it'll eat you from the inside out. And it doesn't just hurt you, it binds those you've lost too.'' Caleb immediately though of Merlyn. How he'd resurrected her in Mrs. Holt's backyard grill. Then there was the apparition he'd seen of her after Lucas said she was gone. She'd been so scared. Was he the reason she couldn't find peace? Because he hadn't mourned her. "Caleb?" "Huh?" Caleb snapped back to Claire. "You okay?'' "Yeah, I's just thinkin' about ma sister Merly.'' "Is she one of the people you said you were glad was dead?'' Caleb winced hearing his words thrown back at him. I didn't mean that Merly, he thought to his sister, wherever she was. "Ah don't know what ah feel anymore. Sometimes I get so sad 'n miss em so much I wanna hide under ma bed an cry fer days..." Caleb winced and cast a sideways glance at Claire. He felt a little strange confessing to crying, but the girl didn't look fazed by his admission. "N other times," he continued. A dash of the rage returned to his voice. "Other times ah get so angry at all the things that ah've been through..." Caleb's young face contorted into a tight mask. His Father's visage was easy to see. "I wanna hurt someone. The same way I been hurt.'' Claire sat closer to Caleb, the boy was startled by the sudden rush of warmth. "That wouldn't bring them back Caleb. That wouldn't take away your pain. All it would do is make you feel that much emptier.'' Caleb was quiet. He was in such turmoil now he didn't know what to think from one minute to the next and he didn't have the words to express what he was feeling. He knew what the girl said was true...he just didn't know if he cared anymore. Claire stood. She brushed the twigs and dirt off the seat of her dress. "The choice is yours Caleb; whether you want to use your suffering as an excuse to hurt others, or use it constructively. To heal people. To spare them the pain you've experience.'' Caleb squinted up at the girl quizzically. "You sure don't talk like any girl ah know.'' Something else about the girl struck Caleb. It wasn't just what Claire had said, but the way she said it. Her accent. "Yer not fr'm around here, are ya?" Claire shook her head smiling, "No, I'm from Massachusetts.'' Caleb's face brightened as the pieces that'd been floating in his mind locked. "That's who you sound like! Dr. Matt, he's from up that way too." Claire's smile faltered, and when it returned it was a little sadder. "I have to go now.' She turned and started back the way she'd come. "Wait! Where ya goin'?" Caleb scrambled to his feet. Claire glanced back, "To find my Dad.'' Caleb's face twisted, "I thought you said he was dead.'' Claire smiled sweetly. "I said he was lost, I never said he was dead. He's lost in Trinity, I could use your help.'' Caleb's first impulse was to join the girl and help her, but the Buck in him whispered, "The Hell with 'er, how's she ever helped you? What has she got to offer in return for your help?'' Caleb thought about that and was even tempted to indulge in Lucas' way of thinking...when an image formed in his mind. It was Lucas, alone in his huge house. He had money. He had Trinity. He had the fear and loyalty of her people. Yet he sat in that huge house, night after night. Alone. Is that how you want to be Caleb? Merlyn asked. Alone and empty? Caleb had seen Lucas Buck as many things: A Sheriff. The Devil. His Father. This was new. This is the truth, Merly said again in her sweet Angel's voice. This is where his path has led him. Caleb couldn't shake the picture of Lucas as a lonely monarch sitting in a barren castle. "I'll help you." Caleb said dusting off his hands. The chill in his soul receded at the words, like a snake recoiling from a flame. Claire's face brightened, she held her hand out to Caleb. "Great. On the way you can tell me about this man who sounds like me. What was his name?'' "Dr. Matt." Caleb took Claire's hand and together they weaved through the shrubs and underbrush until they hit the main road. "He helped me out when ma sister and Deddy died." Caleb's head bowed slightly. "That's until he went nuts and they locked him up.'' Caleb looked at Claire and swore for a moment the girl was going to cry. Up ahead a few of Trinity's outermost homes and businesses were visible. "He got out a little while ago...but he ain't the same. He keeps to himself a lot, just sits there in the park sometimes and just stares.'' "Has anyone tried talking to him?'' Caleb shrugged, "I don't know, most folks've steered clear of 'im since he tried to kill Lucas.'' "Even you?" Claire stopped and looked at Caleb, the boy couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. "Yeah." They started walking again. "'S not ma fault, he's strange now.'' Claire shook her head. "So that's how it is then, someone who's been there for you in your darkest hour runs into trouble and you just turn your back on him.'' "Ah feel guilty enough." Caleb mumbled. "Ah don't need you rubbin' it in.'' They were within the town limits now, the town square was in view. The two children passed several people but none seemed to notice them. They were quiet as they strolled, until Caleb remembered why he'd come with Claire. "So where should we start lookin' fer yer Deddy? We could always go to the Sheriff's office and ask 'im to drive us around if you don't have any ideas." Caleb's demeanor lightened with the change of subject. Claire shook her head with a modest smile. She pointed to a man slumped forward on a park bench, his elbows resting on his thighs. "No need. We've found him.'' Matt Crower sat staring into the middle of the street, his eyes focused on nothing. His dirty blond hair, the same shade as Claire's, dangled limply on the sides of his face. Dark eyes stared unblinking from his pallid face. Caleb turned to Claire, studying her first with confusion...then understanding. "Yer dead, ain't cha? A ghost, like my sister Merly.'' "Yeah.'' Caleb looked back at Matt. A couple of old women passed his bench. They whispered to each other as they looked over the former physician. Caleb felt angry at the women and ashamed of himself. "Why're you talkin' to me when he's the one sufferin'?" "I can't reach him Caleb." Claire said. "He fights to keep the memories of me and my Mom down. He'll only let himself feel the pain and loss of what happened." "Why?" "Guilt." Claire said in a hushed tone, her face was a tender masque of sorrow. "Over what happened to us because of him. By punishing himself, he's keeping himself from healing. And because all he lets himself feel is misery, all the joy is buried and rotting. And that's what Lucas uses against him. He needs to open those wounds and air them out, to feel the joy as well as the pain. Or I'm afraid he'll stay lost.'' Caleb saw tears shimmer in Claire's eyes, her lips trembled. "You're special Caleb, that's why I came to you. You're the only one who can help him.'' As Caleb watched, Claire started glowing, just like Merly did just after she died. Then, with a burst of stars and sparks, she was gone. Tentatively, looking around to see if there was any sign of Claire, Caleb walked to the bench where Matt was and sat beside him. "Dr. Matt?'' Matt didn't respond at first. Slowly, he turned to Caleb, his black eyes still possessed of that odd, unfocused quality. "Go away Caleb, I want to be...." Matt sniffed the air and his face changed. It was no longer blank, and there was a spark deep in his eyes. "Did you smell that?'' Matt surveyed the street slowly, looking for the source of the scent. When he returned his attention to Caleb, the boy was grinning. "Yep. Smells like roses." "Yeah." Matt looked back at the street. "That's how my little girl used to...'' "Used to what?" "Nothing. I was mistaken." Matt tried to disconnect himself again. "Y'know Dr. Matt, after Merly died I didn't wanna talk about her neither." Caleb tried to remember what Claire had told him. "But there comes a time when ya gotta move past the pain and remember some of the good stuff. Or else you wind up alone and empty.'' Caleb studied Matt's face for any sign of his words sinking in. He was rewarded with a reluctant smile. Matt leaned back on the bench and regarded Caleb with an amused look. "You've gotta be the oldest ten year old in the world." Matt sat a moment and made a decision. "My daughter used to wear rose water when we visited her Grandparents on holidays.'' Matt braced himself for the agony thinking of Claire would bring, but it never came. Instead, his burden felt a little lighter. Not gone, not even tolerable, but for the first time since the accident his heart felt lighter and less like a prison. Unseen by the man or boy, Lucas Buck sat in his blue Caprice, watching the two talk and laugh. His face was stern. "This wouldn't be your handy work, would it, little sister?" Lucas turned to his passenger, Merlyn Temple. "Would it? This has the stink of Angels all over it.'' Merlyn held her hands out. "Ma hands are tied, Lucas, you saw to that.'' Lucas returned his gaze to Crower and Caleb. He didn't like the way they were all buddy-buddy. He didn't like Crower in any mood other than suicidal. "You're not the only one who knows Caleb's potential, Lucas.'' Lucas rounded on her with a sneer. "He has the power to heal as well as hurt, and you're not going to get him without a fight.'' Merlyn faded, leaving Lucas to scowl at an empty seat. "I'm not the only angel watching over him y'know.'' Lucas hated to admit it, but the girl was right. And if events were going to work in his favor...things would have to change. Until Gail was back in shape, Caleb was Lucas' only heir. "Somethin's gotta be done about that boy." he muttered, spying on his son and his enemy. He watched...and plotted. THE END